But recently, I've noticed a trend. Since I work in a hotel, I observe a lot of people... cougars, wannabes, young chicks who wear their bathing suits way too ... umm ... revealing, hairy, fat men with girlfriends who look like their granddaughters, married men with prostitute-looking wives, or perhaps married men with prostitutes... etc etc etc. But for the people who come in the spa, we get a lot of honeymooners, or couples on vacation just looking to get away.
Many of these couples are young and engaged. We had a couple come in who were getting married the following week. She was younger, 21 years old to be exact and her fiance was 23. She looked like she was 16, seriously. Anyway, they just graduated from school and were really excited about their wedding and blah blah blah.
Thanks to my facebook stalking ways, I noticed that a lot of "relationship statuses" have been changing to "Engaged to...". Uhhhhh... what? These people... I went to high school with them. They're MY age. And that's very young, in case you didn't know that by now. I mean... some already have kids. OMG.
For those of you who know my mother, then you know that Lyss and I grew up with a few life keys to live by... It's not necessary to state all of them (and Mom, you know what they are), but the one that has always stuck out in my mind is that Lyss and I have been "advised" to not get married until we're at least 30. If you know my parents, then you know that they got married at a very young age as well... moreso my mom. So I'm pretty sure my mom knows what she's talking about.
I dunno... I just couldn't imagine getting married right now. I feel like so much of my life is up in the air still, how could I possibly settle down? I know that before I get married, if I ever get married, I want to be financially independent. I want my own self-made worth. I want my career, my place, my car, my independence... my fun... my life. If I've learned anything from past relationships, if I've learned anything from my mom and dad, from my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, it's that this is the only time in life where you can be selfish and are "allowed" to be selfish. Once you get married, you have to share your entire life, your world, with someone else. And then kids... if you so choose to have them... sayonara freedom and selfishness (don't take it the wrong way, I love kids). So I mean... why rush to the alter? Why rush into reality?
Finances. I was told this by someone... "financially, it just makes sense for us to get married." Obviously, the economy is making life difficult for everyone. Some more difficult for others, but for the most part, everyone is suffering on some level. So, here, these young couples are looking for a path to go down. With uncertainity flying in most of our heads... uncertainty about the job/career market, uncertainty about the cost of living and how to pay for living, uncertainty about EVERYTHING, most young folk look at the only thing they feel is certain: marriage... The marriage license that binds two people together supposedly forever. People want to "build their lives together," but why not build YOUR life first and then somehow manage to let someone significant into that life of yours? Compromise or coordinate or whatever...
Scenario: Hey, let's move in together because it makes sense. I mean, I'm at your place all the time anyway, I don't want to pay rent for my empty apartment, so let's move in. Uhhh, no.
Scenario: Benefits. You have them, I don't. Let's get married and share each other's wealth, save some money along the way.
These are obviously stupid, but these are more or less what I've overheard.
Hey, if you have found the love of your life, that is spectacular and I'm happy for you... but for some reason, marriage kind of angers me right now. Do not tell me that financially it just makes sense. Tell me that you've had your fun, tell me that it would seem physically impossible to not spend the rest of your life with this person, tell me it's love, somethinggggg. Do not tell me you're getting married at a young age because it financially makes sense. Blah.
Mom once told me that she doesn't understand why women want to move in with a boyfriend. She said "why would you want to play house? So you can get a kickstart on their laundry, their dishes, cleaning up after them?" She is oh so right. Mom, you're fabulously brilliant.
PS. So sorry if you read this and took it the wrong way. Like I said before, if you have met the love of your life, rock on and I'm happy for you. I just ask that you remember that you're only young and selfish once.
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